Top 10 Ways to Prepare for the Real-Life Hunger Games (or any other Epic Battle Royal) – zozi Style
If life really does imitate art, at some point or another we’re all going to find ourselves in a battle royal – aka, a jumbled fist-fight with a smattering of people. With the likes of The Hunger Games, Battlestar Galactica, and Zombieland, survival skills are totally looming in our minds. What to do? Make a beeline for zozi – we’ve got you covered when it comes to training to face a melee:
1. First order of business for survival is the art of staying alive. Luckily, there’s an Outdoor Survival Skills Walkabout in LA to teach you fire making, shelter building, and water gathering.
2. Moving (or jumping) through any landscape with ease ain’t a walk in the park, unless you’re trained to do so. Overcome obstacles of any nature in Boston by becoming proficient in parkour.
3. If distant combat appeals more than being up close and personal, you’ll want to make sure your archery skills are up to par in San Francisco (and bring a friend, these archery lessons are for two). Plus, being able to peg a squirrel in the eye is priceless.
4. Knowing your way around a glock would sure make you a lethal opponent (and comes in handy if forced to battle by way of a round of Duck Hunt). In Portland, take a Virtual Reality Tactical Shooting Course and be wooed by the adrenaline of psuedo survival.
5. Stamina will serve you well as you race away from frenemies. Lace on sneakers for marathon training in Washington DC, and leave everyone behind in your high speed wake.
6. Oops, you got dumped in the frosty mountains of…god knows where (it’s not like your GPS works when aliens have attacked). Getting from point A to point B won’t be an issue if you’ve got this secret weapon: the ability to safely climb slabs of ice, which you learned in Seattle, naturally.
7. And once you climb down from all that cold, you’re still stuck on the rocks? Thankfully you took that climbing class in Southern California so those boulders and faces don’t trip you up.
8. Seriously, paintball has so many survival applications: splatter those in your alliance with red to look beaten, or maybe an artful blend of green and yellow will camouflage. Add on the fact that it’s built in shooting-a-moving-target practice and voila – you’ll want to find yourself in Portland.
9. A good Battle Royal never lacks a sword-fight, regardless of whether it’s comprised of kids, zombies, or intergalactic species. Perry your way around a duel and you’ll keep your head about you.
10. All this talk of keeping your head about you and man, would you love an adult beverage if the world went all dystopia. No problem – in just one day you can learn to brew beer using wild ingredients you forage yourself. Stay thirsty (and happy) in Washington DC. Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. And may the odds be ever in your favor, whichever comes to pass.